NO pictures, just me blogging my heart. This has been a difficult week for me. This weekend, On Sunday morning to be exact, for the first time, I had to pronounce a resident dead. I have been at my family's bedside when they've passed away, knowing death was expected and imminent. But this weekend, a gentle man- someone I hardly knew- passed away. Unexpectedly, in his sleep. He was doing well, but when my CNA did rounds, he had just slipped. He was a DNR (do not ressucitate), but I was so shocked. I stood there, just looking, listening, waiting for a breath, something. Anything to prevent me having to do the inevitable. But he was gone. I was given the responsibility of calling his death. And I am having a hard time dealing with it. Then not an hour later, another woman coded. I had to call the code, initiate CPR, call 911. Alot of responsibility for one night. And I don't know if it is just the holidays, and remembering all of those who have been with us and passed, but something has just upset me about this. I know in nursing, there are a lot of things we have to get comfortable with, but this didnt sit well with me. I know I will get past it, and it will make me a stronger person. But for now, I just needed to talk about my feelings and let it out a little.
Thanks for listening.
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